Rating: PG13. Slash. Jack/Daniel established relationship.

Spoilers/Warnings: Spoilers for the first few episodes of Season 5.

Summary: How would General Hammond deal with ‘the boys´ after some of their actions?

Notes | Disclaimer

"But, General, with all due respect, sir…" Jack O´Neill whined, actually whined, at General Hammond.

General Hammond was not to be dissuaded. "No, COLONEL, this is an order. There is NO discussion about this. You WILL sit in this presentation, you will listen, you will take notes and you will participate fully." The General pointed at the two stars on his shoulder. "Borrowing some of your sarcasm, Colonel, but these stars don´t mean I´ve seen the planetarium exhibit at the local university enough times to get in free."

There was a slight cough/chuckle from the man standing on Jack´s left.

General Hammond looked at the other man and narrowed his eyes. "And DOCTOR Jackson, you will ALSO ATTEND this presentation."

"Wait a minute…I thought I was GIVING it?" Daniel Jackson furrowed his brow in puzzlement.

Jack snorted, "Huh? You give a presentation on FOLLOWING the chain of command. Right, Daniel."

Daniel retorted right back, "Well, at least I´ve got an excuse. I´m a CIVILIAN, Jack. I haven´t spent the formative years of my life being yelled at and beaten down into such thorough submission that if someone says ‘Kree,´ my first thought is ‘How high?´ I still have some independent brain functions, unlike you."

"Oh you little…"

"ENOUGH!"

Both men broke off their angry eye contact and started at General Hammond´s outburst.

"ENOUGH. You will both sit in this. If I wasn´t convinced before, I´m convinced now. Alone, you two are bad enough. Together, you are dangerous and cause raised blood pressure throughout the armed services. Colonel, do you have any idea exactly HOW many people you have irritated at the Pentagon?"

Daniel smiled at the General´s question. And abruptly lost the smile as the General turned to him. Jack´s smirk jumped right out at the General´s next words.

"And Doctor Jackson? Don´t think your "attitude" has been overlooked or gone unnoted either. I think the actual term on one report even went so far as to use the term "snarky" to describe you."

Daniel flushed slightly and looked at his boots.

"So, at 0600," Daniel looked back up quickly, his eyes wide. The General nodded and continued, "Yes, you heard right, Doctor Jackson. At 0600, you will both be back in that conference room. You will be hearing a presentation on leadership and the chain of command. It will be led by Teal´c."

Jack exclaimed, "TEAL´C!"

General Hammond narrowed his eyes and stared at Jack. Jack tried to maintain eye contact but quickly broke off and was squirming under the stern gaze of his commander.

"Yes, Teal´c. I find it amazing that someone from another world, someone unfamiliar with our customs and rules, follows the chain of command so well. So, therefore, TEAL´C will be leading the presentation. He is preparing as we speak. And to make sure you both act appropriately during the presentation, Doctor Frasier will also be on hand."

Daniel blinked rapidly, "Um…Janet?"

General Hammond took a breath. "It was actually her suggestion, Doctor. She thought that her presence and the thought of what she could do to either of you during your next physical would keep you both on best behaviour."

Both men shared a glance and shifted uncomfortably.

General Hammond sat in his chair for the first time since the two men had arrived at his office. He took a big breath. "Now, off the record, Jack, Daniel? I understand you both. You are both very good at what you do but not everyone is me. Jack, your behaviour to the Russian General was utterly inappropriate and you know it. He´s filled a complaint and I am tap-dancing around an apology. Daniel, son, you cannot follow Colonel O´Neill´s precedent." He held up a hand as both Jack and Daniel opened their mouths. "I know. I know. You both came this way. Neither of you learned from the other. But, Jack, as you especially know and, son, as you, I think, have learned, not every commanding officer is me. I will not be here forever. You have both got to learn some discipline in what you say and how you say it."

Both men glanced at each other and mumbled, "Yes, sir."

General Hammond stood again. "Back on record here, gentlemen. So, I am ORDERING you both – and I do hope you remember what ORDERS are? – Good. I am ordering you two off base." At Daniel´s groan, General Hammond gave a sharp small smile. "Yes, Doctor Jackson, I knew you were thinking of staying here overnight to insure that you´d be on time but I think having to get up between 0400 and 0430 is another thing to help drive this lesson home for you."

Jack couldn´t hold in the smirk.

"Dismissed, gentlemen. Leave immediately. If you are still on this base in 15 minutes, I will have the SFs escort you bodily from this mountain. And if you are not bright-eyed, bushy-tailed and ready to learn come 0600 tomorrow," The General leaned over his desk and fixed both men with his best "I am your worst enemy" and "there is reason I have these stars" look, "…the wraith of George Wallace Hammond will be upon you. And woe will be your fate. Do I make myself clear?"

Both men gulped audibly. Jack recovered first, "Yes, sir, perfectly clear."

Daniel nodded emphatically, "Crystal, General."

General Hammond stared for a moment more. He nodded. "Then dismissed, gentleman. And the count of fifteen minutes begins," he looked at his watch, "now."

Both men bolted for the door and ran toward the locker room.

"What the hell did you say to the Russian General, Jack?" Daniel asked as they both ran around base personnel on the way to their destination. Neither wanted the embarrassment of being "escorted" by SFs.

"Oh, who the hell knows. Probably the really bad part was when I called them liars and told him there´d never be another joint mission."

"Tell me you didn´t!"

"He pissed me off! Making comments about how all of SG1 was alive – it´s because, for once, you all listened to me!"

"Cry me a river, Jack."

"And what did YOU do, Doctor Jackson, the usual fair-haired boy of the SGC?"

"Got no clue. Other than the Simmons thing or things, as it were."

"The one where you asked him to go slow or where you asked if you needed a lawyer?"

Daniel grimaced. "Probably both."

They reached their destination, grabbed their civvies with keys and wallets and sprinted out of the locker room. They came face to face with Sam and Teal´c.

Sam smiled brightly, "Don´t let us keep you. As I understand it," she looked at her watch, "you have only 12 minutes left."

"Very funny, MAJOR." Jack snarled and both men again started for the elevators. Sam and Teal´c joined in the run.

The group got to the elevator. Jack and Daniel took turns punching the button and muttering "come on, come on" and looking at their watches. Sam cut her eyes at Teal´c and he lifted an eyebrow.

The elevator doors slid opened and the men jumped in, their clothes a bundle in their arms. Teal´c stopped the doors from closing with a massive forearm.

"For cryin´ out loud, Teal´c, we´ve got five minutes!"

"Understood, O´Neill. I only wished to say that I am looking forward to our…conference…tomorrow morning. I have been informed that for those six hours…"

Daniel closed his eyes, raised his head to the top of the elevator and groaned.

"…my direct command has been transferred to General Hammond. I have learned much from DanielJackson´s Power Point presentations and am looking forward to utilizing that technology."

At this Jack grimaced, closed his eyes and groaned.

Teal´c raised his eyebrow even higher. "I believe we will have a very informed and enlightening session." He tilted his head and removed his hand.

As the door slid shut, the sound of giggling could be heard. Jack yelled through the closed door "NO GIGGLING!"

Both men shuffled their feet and watched as the numbers slid slowly on the panel. They sprinted to the security station. The SF was on the phone. "Yes, General Hammond, sir, they are here now. Yes, sir. I understand, sir." He hung up the phone. "Colonel O´Neill. Doctor Jackson. General Hammond stated he was glad to see you following orders. He also wanted me to let you know that he fully expects, and these are his exact words, sirs, "this type of unfailing obedience tomorrow." Sirs."

The SF watched as both men completed the sign out procedure. As the men walked away, he snapped a salute. It was returned briefly by Jack.. As they walked away, Jack could have sworn he heard a chuckle. As he turned swiftly around, all he saw was the SF still at attention, a completely blank face.

Both men breathed a sigh of relief as they walked to their cars.

"So."

"So."

"My place?"

"Jack, we have to be back here at 0600. Actually at 0530 in order to get changed and to the conference room at 0600."

"And your point would be?" Jack looked at the archaeologist meaningfully.

Daniel twitched his head and gave Jack a look over his glasses. "Only one orgasm apiece tonight. And nothing really energetic or drawn out."

"I can do that."

"AND I get first shower in the morning."

"How about we compromise?"

"Compromise?"

"Yeah, we shower together in the morning."

"Jesus, Jack, we´ll never make it here on time."

"We will if we get up at 0330. Come on, Daniel, you always do better with a LONG shower." With that Jack veered off and headed for his truck.

"Jack?" Daniel said quietly.

Jack turned around and raised an eyebrow.

Daniel glanced around. "You did get that larger capacity water heater installed, right?"

Jack smiled his best smile. "Yasureyoubetchasnookums." And hurried to his truck, followed by Daniel´s low chuckle.

I have no idea if there is a canon middle name for General Hammond. I just liked the one I used.