Summary: Sometimes revenge is a dish best served hot.
Category: Farce, smut, humour
Pairing: Horatio/Archie/Edrington
Rating: NC17
Spoilers/Warnings: None.
Notes
Disclaimer

Horatio rested his forearms against the starboard railing and gazed out across the water. The morning fog was just beginning to burn off, patches of pale blue sky revealed by its passage. But it was neither sea nor sky that drew his gaze, but rather the faint smudge in the distance, barely glimpsed through the lingering haze. It could have been no more than a trick of the light, or the imaginings of a homesick heart, but Horatio knew what it was beyond any doubt. It was England. They were almost home.

He heard the sound of footfalls behind him, but he did not turn; he already knew who it would be. When he shifted his gaze at last, he was greeted by the sight of Archie, leaning against the rail at his side, his posture a mirror image of Horatio's own. Horatio returned his gaze to the stretch of blue-green ocean and the promise of land hovering on the horizon.

"England," Archie said at last, breaking the silence. "We're almost home."

"Almost."

"We'll be in Portsmouth by nightfall."

"If the wind holds, yes."

The silence settled between them again, but it was a comfortable one, forged of long familiarity and easy camaraderie. Archie had an uncanny knack for understanding Horatio's sometimes erratic moods. He seemed to know, almost as if by instinct, when Horatio needed to be teased and goaded out of a fit of melancholia, and when he was better left to his own thoughts. Horatio had come to rely upon Archie's acuity in this as in so many matters. Indeed, he doubted he would have made it through the past week without his friend's steadfast support.

The ill-fated mission to Muzillac had never been far from Horatio's thoughts since they'd set sail from the Breton coast. He'd been loathe to speak of it after his interview with the captain and had done so only once, late one night after Archie had plied him with a bottle of wine he'd acquired from who knows where. Horatio had spoken at length, his voice halting and slurred by wine and grief. Archie had listened patiently as he unburdened himself with an unaccustomed candor and had responded with soft words and soothing touches. When Horatio awoke in his cot the next morning, his head had been pounding terribly and his mouth had had the most vile taste to it, but he'd felt lighter than he had since the entire debacle had begun. Archie had not broached the subject since, had only smiled and patted Horatio on the shoulder that morning and Horatio had been terribly grateful for his friend's consideration and his discretion. He had not entirely forgotten what had passed at Muzillac - he doubted he ever would - but the sense of loss and failure had abated enough for him to begin to move forward and leave the past behind.

They stood there, side by side in companionable silence and watched as the waves danced against the Indefatigable's hull and the spray sheened their upturned faces, until the sun broke through the fog and the ship's bell announced the start of the morning watch, bringing with it the call to duty. Horatio turned from the rain and paused for one last look as their ship moved ever closer to England and whatever consequences awaited them in the wake of their benighted mission to France.

The wind did not hold steady and it was not until well after dusk that the Indefatigable made harbor. At first light, Captain Pellew, accompanied by Major Lord Edrington in full dress, disembarked. The former went directly to Admiralty House to give an accounting of their mission and its less than fortuitous results, the latter to report to his own superior, General Halpern. The morning passed quickly aboard the Indy as her crew saw to the task of disembarking the men and beasts of the 95th Foot. By early afternoon, the last of their dunnage had been set ashore, but still the captain had not returned. As the hours stretched, his officers grew increasingly restive. They did not give voice to the worries that plagued them, but their concern was palpable and communicated itself clearly to the more senior ratings who made a point of keeping the men quiet and out of trouble. The sun had dropped to the horizon, bathing the world in shades of fire by the time Captain Pellew returned at last. The stony expression that he wore as he climbed through the entrance port spoke more eloquently than words of the tenor of his interview.

He called his officers into his cabin where they stood stiff backed and somber. "I have been summoned to London to give a full report to Lord Hood," he said without preamble.

They exchanged worried glances at that ominous pronouncement, but did not speak.

"The Indefatigable will remain at anchor here in Portsmouth for the time being," Pellew continued. He paced the length of the cabin as he spoke; it was a familiar habit. "I do not know how long that will be, but I have been given to understand that it could be some weeks. Mr. Bracegirdle, you will be in command in my absence. You may grant shore leave to the men as you see fit."

"Aye, aye, sir."

Pellew stopped his pacing and stood still, studying his officers with that uncanny gaze of his that seemed to look clear into a man's very soul. "Gentlemen, despite the unfortunate outcome of our mission, I am well pleased by the performance of the ship's company. Well pleased, indeed. You did your duty and you did it with courage and dignity. My report will reflect that fact." He studied them for a moment longer then nodded gravely. "That is all, gentlemen."

They had begun to file from the captain's cabin when his voice broke the silence. "Mr. Hornblower, Mr. Kennedy. A moment if you will."

Horatio flashed a quick look at Archie who appeared as bemused as Horatio felt. They turned back to their captain and awaited his pleasure. Pellew pulled a letter from inside his jacket and had handed it over to Horatio. He frowned, but opened the letter to read its contents, aware of Archie at his shoulder, doing the same.

The Earl of Edrington graciously extends his compliments and requests the presence of Captain Sir Edward Pellew, Lieutenant Horatio Hornblower and Acting Lieutenant Archibald Kennedy at his estate, Stanwick Hall. . .

He had looked up at the captain, confused. "Sir?"

"I will be unable to accept the earl's invitation, of course, but if you gentlemen are inclined to accept, you may do so with my blessing. I have been told that Stanwick Hall is quite extraordinary, much like its master," Pellew added, his voice tinged with a rare but genuine admiration. "I would not wish for you to miss such an opportunity on my account."

Horatio blinked, then gazed down at the letter in his hands, confused by the unexpected turn of events. Although he had come to respect the earl, Horatio barely knew the man and he could not for the life of him begin to fathom why he had extended such an invitation, especially in light of recent events. But extend it he had.

Horatio looked over at Archie to gauge his response. It was clear from Archie's expression that he was every bit as surprised as he, though Archie did not seem nearly as unnerved by the prospect as Horatio had been. One of the benefits of being a lesser son of the aristocracy, he supposed. When he caught Archie's eye, his friend cocked an eyebrow and gave him the barest of shrugs; an acceptance of sorts. But then, really what choice did they have? A gentleman did not lightly refuse such an invitation, no matter how much he might wish to do.

And so it was that two days later Horatio found himself ensconced in a carriage making its way to Stanwick Hall. In a gesture of extreme courtesy - or perhaps extreme pretentiousness -- the earl had sent his own carriage to retrieve them. It was a fine coach, far more comfortable than the post chaise would have been, and the Edrington coat of arms gleamed dully in the pale morning light. The coachman had greeted them with a bob of his head, stored their dunnage with smooth efficiency and then ushered them inside. Archie settled into the seat across from Horatio, tipped his hat over his face and immediately went to sleep, damn him.

The journey to Somerset seemed interminable. Late afternoon sunlight now streamed through the windows of the carriage as it rolled northward. Horatio braced an arm against the bolster as the carriage's wheels hit upon a rock, making the carriage pitch and toss its passengers about. He looked out the window and wondered yet again when the trip would be over. Between the jostling of the carriage and the heat of the enclosed compartment, and the queasiness of his own stomach, Horatio was more than ready to reach their destination.

Of its own accord, his hand slid inside his jacket and retrieved the letter that rested there. He studied it, his fingers sliding across the stiff, cream-colored paper to trace the broken wax seal. He did not open the letter, however; he already knew the contents by heart.

Horatio looked up to find his traveling companion gazing at him. He flushed, though he couldn't precisely say why.

Archie chuckled. "Honestly, Horatio, I would have thought you had that letter memorized by now!"

He shot Archie a disapproving glare that Archie, as usual, ignored entirely. Horatio finally gave voice to the thought that had been nagging at him since the curious letter had arrived. "It is just that I do not understand it. Why did the earl invite us to his home? The captain, I could see, but why us?"

Archie shrugged, his lips curved into a faint smile. "I haven't the faintest idea, Horatio. I'm sure His Lordship will inform us in good time. Until then, I am inclined to accept the invitation and enjoy my good fortune. I'd recommend you do the same."

Horatio nodded. It was, after all, sound advice. Still, he felt oddly out of sorts, though perhaps that had more to do with recent events than the unexpected invitation. "I wish the captain could have accompanied us."

Archie's expression sobered at once. "Yes, so do I," he replied softly.

Silence fell between them, as the reason for the captain's absence once again rose up to occupy their thoughts.

"You don't think the Admiralty will hold the captain responsible, do you?"

Archie sighed and rubbed at his temple, his gaze distant. "I honestly don't know, Horatio."

"But it was not his fault!" Horatio replied with perhaps more force then intended. He took a deep breath before he spoke again. "Surely they realize that the mission was doomed from the start."

"Perhaps so, but that did not stop them from sending us in the first place, now did it?" Archie's voice was low but there was no mistaking the thread of barely restrained contempt woven through it.

"No…no it did not." They lapsed into silence again and Horatio found himself circling cautiously around the disconcerting thought that perhaps they were never intended to return at all. That their survival, rather than being a minor miracle in the face of overwhelming odds, was more of an inconvenience, even an embarrassment, in the eyes of the Admiralty.

Archie was watching him, his gaze thoughtful. He reached across the space between them and rested his hand lightly on Horatio's wrist. "I'm sure Captain Pellew will be fine, Horatio. He is too good a captain not to weather this storm and given the difficulty of the mission just surviving must count for something."

Horatio was sure his own lack of certainty was writ across his features.

"Besides," Archie continued, "he did manage to bring His Lordship and his regiment back whole and hale. I'm sure the earl has friends of standing who will be grateful for his safe return."

"I had not considered that."

Archie gave him a wry smile. "No, I rather thought you hadn't."

"Still, perhaps I should not have accepted the earl's invitation."

Archie gave Horatio's wrist a quick shake. "And what purpose would that have served, Horatio? What good could you possibly do for the captain by mooning about Portsmouth like a lost calf?"

Horatio had the good grace to look sheepish at that observation. Archie's expression softened. "Horatio, there is nothing we can do for the captain at present. I wish to God that there were. But until such time as the opportunity arises, the best we can do is follow his lead and not add to his worries. He encouraged us to accept His Lordship's invitation and in doing so, we have, I hope, relieved him of any concern for our sakes."

"When did you get so wise, Archie?"

Archie settled back against his seat cushion, his entire manner was one of smug superiority. "I always was, Mr. Hornblower, you were just a little slow to recognize that fact."

Horatio snorted, but he felt the corners of his lips twitch at that remark in spite of himself. Archie's expression transformed into one of fond affection. "Come now, Horatio, you look like a man facing the gallows. Everything will be fine, I'm sure of it. Just think upon the positive things that this visit will bring."

"Such as?"

"Well, for one thing, we will not have to worry about paying for bed nor board while we are the earl's guests. Neither of us is exactly flush with coin, after all, so I'm delighted to be able to make some economies, especially if we're to be landbound for an extended period."

"True," Horatio acquiesced.

"And just think of the quality of the lodgings we shall have. I've never been to Stanwick Hall, of course, but I'm quite certain that it will boast better accommodations than The Dancing Dolphin. Although," he drawled a mischievous light gleaming in his eye, "how I shall sleep without your bony elbows digging continually into my side and your infernal snoring in my ear, I do not know."

Horatio glared at Archie. "I do not snore, sir!"

"Whatever you say, Horatio," Archie blithely replied with a cheeky grin that elicited an answering laugh from Horatio. He could never resist Archie when he was being outrageous and now was no exception.

"I suppose the real question is what shall we do with ourselves while we're there."

Archie shrugged lightly. "The usual, I suppose. Eating, sleeping, conversing, riding…"

Horatio grimaced and Archie laughed at his obvious discomfort. "Horatio, horses are not as bad as all that. In fact, this could be a perfect opportunity for you to practice your horsemanship a bit. I'm sure the earl will have a fine stable. Riding can be most pleasant."

Archie's face had taken on a wistful expression, fueled, no doubt, by fond memories of his childhood. Reluctant to break his companion's pleasant mood, Horatio let his rejoinder die unspoken. "Well, I suppose we'll have ample opportunity to see for ourselves, won't we?"

Archie gave him another brief smile then turned to look out the window. "Horatio, look!"

Horatio looked out the window in the direction Archie indicated. There, a short distance off, resting atop a knoll and surrounded by lush greenery, was an impressive estate.

"Is that it?" Horatio asked, more than a little awed.

"I believe so, yes."

They continued to gaze out the window as the carriage passed well-tended fields and fecund pastures where sheep and cattle grazed. Horatio spied an orchard filled with trees in full blossom, their delicate white flowers tinted gold by the afternoon sun. The carriage veered off the main road and turned on to a winding path leading in the direction of the magnificent house. Archie apparently had been right; they had reached Stanwick Hall.

It was only a matter of minutes before the carriage pulled to a halt in front of the broad staircase that led up to the portico. As Horatio descended from the carriage, he gazed up at the house. It was even more daunting up close than it had appeared at a distance. He stood there, staring, admiring the clean lines of the building and the grace of its proportions. The manse was grand without being overwrought, every detail bespeaking an understated elegance.

He was aware of Archie descending the carriage and coming to stand beside him. "Impressive." Archie's voice was soft and held a touch of awe. Horatio felt a little more at ease, knowing that he wasn't the only one who felt a bit overwhelmed.

"Very," he replied. It was then that he noticed a man heading towards them, his pace deliberate, almost stately. It was not Edrington, however. Although he was tall and thin like the earl, he was some years older, and his bald head and short cropped hair contrasted to the fashion of the day, as did his suit of unrelieved black. A servant, Horatio realized.

The man stopped in front of them and gave them a brief but respectful bow. "Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am Howard, His Lordship's butler. I regret to inform you that His Lordship has not yet returned from his afternoon ride, but he bade me to welcome you in his absence and to show you to your rooms. You will no doubt wish to refresh yourselves after your long journey."

It was Archie who answered for them both. "Thank you, Howard. We would like that very much."

"If you will follow me, sirs," the butler directed as he turned and mounted the steps and entered the Edrington manse. The understated elegance of the house's exterior had not prepared Horatio for the sumptuousness of its interior. Howard led them through the large foyer across the floor decorated in an elaborate mosaic of white and black marble and up a sweeping staircase, its mahogany banister elaborately carved and polished until it gleamed like bronze. The staircase was lined with paintings, full-length portraits of men and women garbed in stiff brocades and swathed in lace. Edrington's ancestors, he presumed. They seemed to gaze down at him, their expressions haughty and most unnerving. It was a relief when they reached the floor above.

Howard led them down the hallway then stopped before a pair of doors. "Mr. Hornblower, this is your room," he said, gesturing towards the first door. "Mr. Kennedy, this is yours," he gestured towards the door beside it. "His Lordship should return shortly. He wishes you to make yourselves at home. I will have tea set in the library downstairs and see that your belongings are carried up to your rooms."

"Thank you, Howard," Archie said with a gracious nod of his head.

"Yes, thank you."

Howard bowed again then left them to their privacy. Horatio opened the door to his room and cautiously stepped inside. Archie's observation that Stanwick Hall would offer better accommodations than The Dancing Dolphin was the grossest of understatements imaginable. It was, he reflected, a bit like calling H.M.S Victory a modest little sloop. The room was far grander than any he had ever had the privilege to occupy, with gleaming mahogany furniture and drapes of deep green velvet encasing the window and the bed. Horatio was no aesthete, but he knew enough to recognize the quality of the furnishings scattered throughout the room. One wall was dominated by a hearth of carved marble, another by a screen of embroidered Chinese silk behind which the wash stand and chamber pot were discreetly hidden to form a privy. Horatio poured some water into porcelain basin and splashed it against his face and neck. The cool liquid was refreshing against his skin and revived him a bit after the long journey.

Although he was tired, Horatio suddenly felt oddly restless. He wandered into the hallway and paused before Archie's door, reluctant to disturb him. He rapped his knuckles lightly against the wood.

"Archie?"

"Come in, Horatio," came the slightly muffled reply.

Horatio opened the door and found himself in a room that was every bit as palatial as his own. Indeed, apart from a few minor details - the color of the draperies and the silk wall coverings and the placement of the privy - it was essentially the twin of his own. Archie was sprawled across the bed, still fully dressed, his arms spread wide. He raised his head and smiled at Horatio.

"Isn't this wonderful, Horatio? My God, you could berth the Indy's entire complement of midshipmen on this bed and still have room left over for Oldroyd's pet goat!"

Horatio chuckled. "I don't think I want to know how you came up with that particular combination, Mr. Kennedy," he said as he walked over to the bed and gazed fondly down at its occupant.

Archie rolled over to the side nearest to him and looked up at Horatio, his gaze smoldering. It was a look Horatio knew well and in hindsight he should have been forewarned of what came next. With the suddenness of a feline pouncing on a mouse, Archie reached upwards and grabbed the lapels of Horatio's jacket and yanked hard, tumbling him down on the bed. Horatio had only enough time to squeak out his shipmate's name before Archie pinned him to the soft mattress and kissed him with shocking fervor.

Stunned by the unexpected assault, Horatio found there was little choice but to surrender in the face of such nefarious tactics. Archie's body was stretched out above his own, his not inconsiderable weight pressing him into the soft down of the mattress as he plundered Horatio's mouth. Archie's hands slid along Horatio's forearms, fingers twining with his own in a grasp that was both possessive and sheltering. Archie's nimble tongue moved inside his mouth with the skill of long acquaintance while his body rocked against Horatio's own in a slow, languorous rhythm. Horatio moaned at the exquisite contact and Archie swallowed the sound with his greedy, clever mouth only to return it in kind a moment later.

Horatio thought he would die from a lack of oxygen before Archie finally broke off the kiss. He lay stunned and breathless as Archie nuzzled against his neck like an affectionate cat. "God, I've been wanting to do that for so long," Archie said, his voice low and husky.

It was wonderful, it always was with Archie, but reason, alas, began to reassert itself. "Archie!" he gasped between great gasping breaths. "The earl…"

"His Lordship isn't here," Archie purred against his ear nipping at his lobe and at the sensitive skin of his neck just below. Horatio shivered at the sensation.

"He could return at any moment…"

"We would hear him long before he reached this room," Archie soothed.

"Archie, we are his guests," Horatio said, trying to keep his voice level. It was no easy task, not with Archie dotting light, distracting kisses along his jaw.

"So?"

"So, this is hardly the time or the place."

"He said to make ourselves at home, Horatio." Archie kissed him again, quick and sharp.

"Somehow, I doubt this is what he meant, Archie," Horatio said firmly.

There was a wicked gleam in Archie's eyes as he looked down at Horatio with a lazy smile. "Are you sure?"

"Archie!" Horatio said, his tone unusually sharp, as he glared balefully at the man lying above him. Archie frowned and for a long moment Horatio thought he would continue with his tempting, but ill-considered game despite Horatio's reluctance. The moment passed, however. Archie dropped his head and sighed heavily before he rolled to the side and released Horatio.

"Damn you, Mr. Hornblower, for always being so bloody reasonable."

"Archie…" This time his voice was conciliatory. He reached over and lightly touched Archie's jaw, turning his face towards Horatio's own. He need not have been concerned. Archie smiled at him, his expression sweet and slightly rueful.

"I hate when you are right," Archie said. His eyes lit up with sudden mischief. "It is most fortunate that it is such a rare occurrence."

Horatio cuffed him on the shoulder, but laughed in spite of himself. "I should demand satisfaction for such an insulting remark, sir!"

Archie chuckled as his hand slid along Horatio's chest in a slow, provocative motion. "I will be happy to give you the opportunity to derive satisfaction from my person at any time or place or your choosing, sir. Indeed, nothing would please me more."

Horatio lifted Archie's hand and placed a soft kiss against his wrist. "Later, Archie, I promise. But for now, we should probably go downstairs and await our host."

Archie nodded. "I shall hold you to that promise, Mr. Hornblower."

Horatio sat up and slid to stand by the bed. "I am counting on it, Mr. Kennedy. Shall we?"

Archie joined him, straightening his uniform as he went. "Ready when you are, sir."

Horatio gave him a short nod and they left the room and headed down to the library and the promise of other forms of nourishment.

They found the library with relative ease. As promised, a tea service had been set out, along with a platter of small cakes. Archie poured them each a cup of the fragrant brew and settled into one of the large, comfortable chairs flanking the small table where their refreshments were laid out. Horatio took his own cup and saucer, painfully aware of the delicacy of the fine bone china and walked over to peruse the shelves of His Lordship's library. Horatio sipped his tea as his eyes drifted across leather-bound spines tucked neatly into shelves that stretched nearly from floor to ceiling. It was, all in all, a cozy room, with its dark paneled walls and thick carpet underfoot, but there was a certain austerity as well. It was a man's room, devoid of the small touches that hinted at a feminine presence. It was, Horatio reflected, the kind of room in which he could cheerfully lose himself for hours, ensconced in a comfortable chair near the fire, a book in hand. It suddenly occurred to Horatio that he had no idea whether or not the earl was even married. Surely his title would require him to do so sooner or later. Horatio shrugged inwardly. They'd no doubt find out soon enough.

"Horatio," Archie called out, his voice slightly muffled. "You must try some of these cakes. They're delicious."

Horatio returned to Archie's chair as his friend popped another bite of cake into his mouth. Horatio chuckled at the sight. "Honestly, Archie, is that all you ever think about?"

"I'm hungry. I have hardly eaten all day," Archie said between bites of cake.

Horatio nodded. That was true enough. They had been on the road since shortly after daybreak and had stopped briefly only once to water and rest the horses. Having inadequate time for a proper dinner, they had purchased some bread and apples, just enough to satisfy the worst of their hunger, before they'd been on the road once more.

Archie gave him an arch look as he brushed a few stray crumbs from the front of his jacket. "And as to your question, I would think, Horatio, that you would know the answer by now. I confess, I find myself at something of a loss as it is not the influence of my stomach that you usually decry, but rather that of another errant part of my person. Have you changed your mind so thoroughly then?"

"Archie. . ."

"Such inconstancy, sir. What am I to make of it?"

Horatio ignored Archie's provocations; he knew better than to engage with him during one of his whimsical moods. He selected a cake, instead, careful not to get the sugared icing on the cuff of his jacket. It was, as expected delicious. He poured himself another cup of tea, selected another cake, this one filled with berry jam, and seated himself in the chair opposite Archie's own. Late afternoon light slanted through the tall windows, throwing patches of brazen light across the carpet before them.

"I wonder where our host is?" Archie asked idly over the rim of his teacup. Horatio shrugged, knowing that no answer was expected.

As if the question itself was enough to set action in motion, the sound of muffled voices floated into the room, followed shortly after by the Earl of Edrington himself. Still dressed in his riding clothes, his crop tucked smartly under one arm, he tugged off his gloves as he entered the room with neither the appearance of haste nor untoward delay.

"Mr. Hornblower, Mr. Kennedy," he greeted with a demure smile and a gracious nod of his head. "No, no," he said with a wave of his hand as they both started to rise from their seats. "Please remain at your leisure, gentlemen."

Edrington strode over to the table and tossed his gloves and riding crop on one corner before he poured himself a cup of tea. "I do apologize that I was not here to greet you upon your arrival. I've been rather occupied these past two days making a tour of the farms attached to the estate to see how they've fared in my absence."

"Well, I hope," Archie said.

"Moderately well," he answered modestly as a gentleman should. Edrington took a sip of his tea. "I trust you gentlemen had a pleasant journey?"

"Indeed, My Lord," Archie said. "It was most kind of you to send your coach to fetch us."

"It was nothing, I assure you," he replied with the innate graciousness of one born and bred to the manor. He put the cup down and cast his gaze significantly around the room. "I assume by his absence that Captain Pellew was not able to come?"

"The captain extends his deepest apologies, My Lord," Horatio said, "but he was obliged to go to London immediately an Admiralty business."

"I see," Edrington said. And indeed, if his suddenly somber expression was any gauge, he understood quite well. "I was afraid of that. The First Lord wants an accounting of recent events, I suppose."

"I'm afraid so, My Lord."

"Captain Pellew's performance in the face of nearly insurmountable odds was exemplary. I'm sure the Admiralty will see that in good time."

Horatio nodded. There was little more that he could add. They sat there in silence for a few moments longer, sipping their tea, before Edrington put his cup and saucer down once more and rose to his feet.

"Well, gentleman, if you will excuse me, I do believe that I shall take a bath before supper. I do not know what cook plans to serve, but I feel certain that the smell of horse would not be complimentary. Take your ease and I shall see you within the hour."

With that Edrington strode from the room, leaving two thoughtful sailors in his wake.

"He did not seem terribly surprised by the captain's absence," Archie observed.

"No, he did not." Horatio's gaze drifted to the doorway through which the earl had just departed. "He and the captain might have discussed the possibility during the trip back to England, though."

Archie nodded. "That's quite possible. I am not well versed in the workings of the army, but I suspect that they do not differ greatly from those of the Admiralty."

"Hmm," Horatio replied somewhat absently. He drank the dregs of his tea that had cooled during their brief conversation with the earl, then put his cup down and stood. His muscles felt stiff from the voyage and the unaccustomed lack of movement. He gave Archie a brief smile.

"I believe I shall follow our host's example and see if I can't have a bath before supper. I need to change into a clean uniform in any case."

"Would you like me to come along and wash your back for you, Horatio? Or any other parts of your person that might be in need of attention?"

Archie's face was a mask of studied blandness but there was no mistaking the note of mischief in his voice nor the sudden intensity of those blue eyes. Horatio's cock stiffened in his breeches. It took considerable effort to remain where he was when every impulse urged him to cross to Archie's chair, pull him to his feet and kiss him senseless. Unfortunately, one of them needed to show restraint and it appeared that once again the task fell to him.

"I fear I must decline, tempting though that offer may be."

Archie's eyes smiled at him over the rim of his teacup. "As you will, Horatio. Another time, perhaps."

Horatio shook his head fondly. "I look forward to it, sir," He gave Archie a small, playful bow then departed the room, the sound of Archie's amused laughter trailing behind him.

Horatio had just finished tying his stock when a polite rapping on the door and a soft voice announced that dinner would be served shortly. He headed downstairs, his step lighter than it had been on the trek upstairs. The bath had down him a world of good and he was looking forward to an evening of good food and good company, and then after…well…Horatio could not entirely suppress the smile that rose up at that particular thought. Archie had promised him satisfaction and he fully intended to collect.

He found the earl and Archie awaiting him in the library. Accustomed to the red wool coat of an army officer, it felt strange to Horatio to see Edrington dressed in civilian garb. The cut and quality of his suit were quite fine, befitting a peer of the realm. He might have been any gentleman of quality at home in the country, but when he stood there was a decisiveness and a briskness to his movements that marked him as a military man to the core.

Archie had apparently availed himself of the chance to bathe as well. His hair was still slightly damp, more red than gold in the lamplight of the library, and he was dressed in his best uniform, his jacket brushed, his buttons and buckles polished and gleaming. He stood as well and gave Horatio a bright smile that made those brass buttons look dull by comparison.

"Mr. Hornblower, please join us. Supper should be ready shortly."

"Thank you, My Lord."

Horatio had no sooner seated himself than Howard appeared in the doorway to announce that supper was ready and usher them into the dining room. The dining room was as tasteful and understated as the rest of the house, its walls covered with yellow tabard silk that contrasted smartly with the dark, polished wood and the snowy table linens. As there were only the three of them for supper, only one end of the table had been set. The earl, as was his right, seated himself at the table's head while Archie and Horatio sat to his right and to his left, respectively. As soon as they were settled, a footman arrived with the soup, a fine, light consommé, while another poured the wine.

"Gentlemen, if I may. A toast," Edrington raised his glass and Horatio and Archie followed suit. "To good fellowship and to the continuing fraternity of officers in His Majesty's Service!"

"To good fellowship," they echoed then drank. It was a very good wine, Horatio noted absently as he put his glass down and sampled the soup which was equally commendable.

It was Archie, not surprisingly, who took up the conversation. "You have a lovely home, My Lord."

"Thank you, Mr. Kennedy. It is most kind of you to say so, although I doubt you have had much opportunity as yet to explore. But there will be time enough for that later."

Archie nodded. "Do you live here alone, sir?"

Horatio had been wondering that himself, though the fact that they were but three at table seemed to provide an answer to the question.

"No, I do not. My mother, the Dowager Countess and my two sisters are normally in residence, but they have traveled to London for the season."

"Ah."

Horatio frowned. "If I may be so bold, My Lord, I'm surprised that you did not choose to go there as well. You must have little opportunity to see your family."

"True enough, Mr. Hornblower, and indeed under other circumstances I would have done just that. But. . ." he paused, his gaze thoughtful, ". . .I found myself yearning for a bit of peace after our recent excursion and London at the height of the season has very little of that to offer."

Archie nodded, his expression suggesting that he understood all too well of what the earl spoke.

Edrington dabbed at his lips with his napkin, then gestured to one of the footmen hovering near the door. The earl's expression was inscrutable, but there was some emotion that flashed in his eyes as he spoke. "I am quite pleased that you were able to accept my invitation. While I have no desire at present to find myself in the crush, I nevertheless crave good company and intelligent conversation and I had thought that you gentlemen might be in need of a similar respite."

So, that was the reason for the highly irregular invitation. It made perfect sense. Still, Horatio had the oddest, nagging sensation that there was more to it than that. Or perhaps not. Archie had often accused him of analyzing situations to excess, of looking for some hidden logic when most men would have accepted a random occurrence at face value.

Taking the Earl of Edrington at face value, however, was a bit more challenging. He smiled at Horatio, a faint upturn of the lips that could indicate either mockery or a sly, gentle humor, or perhaps something else entirely. Horatio wished he had the skill to divine what lay behind that façade of studied ennui, but he was well aware that he was out of his depth in that regard. He had little experience dealing with high borns and even less at discerning their temperaments. The Earl of Edrington, for all his charm, remained very much an enigma to Horatio. Still, Horatio was an officer and a gentleman and he was more than capable of being gracious when the situation demanded it. And this situation most assuredly did.

Horatio smiled at the earl and dipped his head. "Thank you, My Lord. It was most kind of you to think of us."

The footmen returned bearing the next course, poached fish drizzled with butter and lemon that melted pleasantly on the tongue.

"So, you are not married then, My Lord?" Archie asked before he sampled the fish, its tender flesh flaking at the barest touch of his fork.

Horatio cast an anxious look at Archie, concerned that the question overstepped the bounds of propriety. Archie looked back, one eyebrow arched, then turned his full attention to their host. The earl did not appear offended in the slightest. On the contrary, his smile broadened ever so slightly, giving him an almost smug appearance.

"No. Thus far I have managed to avoid the matrimonial noose," he said as he picked delicately at his fish.

Horatio frowned. "That is a somewhat. . .cynical view of the wedded state, is it not, My Lord?" he asked carefully.

"Perhaps, but that by no means renders it inaccurate." He rested his fork on the plate before him then turned to look fully at Horatio. "There are more than a few sharp-eyed huntresses out there, Mr. Hornblower, who have set their traps for the sole purpose of ensnaring a husband and a title. That is yet another reason to avoid London at present; it feels less and less like a social season and more like hunting season and I do not relish finding myself cast in the role of prey."

He nodded in Horatio's direction. "You, Mr. Hornblower, may marry for love, or not marry at all if you so choose. I, however, have an obligation to wed. I will, of course, do my duty and take a wife in good time, but for now, I prefer to enjoy the pleasures of my bachelor existence while I still may." He raised his glass in a mock salute and drank deeply.

"My Lord," Horatio almost stammered, "I apologize if I have given offense…"

Edrington waved a dismissive hand. "None was taken, I assure you. On the contrary, it is I who should apologize for my own remarks. In truth, I rather envy you your freedom to follow your heart in matters of romance; to be guided by love rather than duty. It is a luxury I can indulge in briefly from time to time, but not when it comes to the marriage bed. You are indeed a most fortunate man, Mr. Hornblower."

"Thank you, My Lord." Horatio replied, relieved that the all too intimate discussion had drawn to a close. It was unnerving to speak of such things, especially with someone of so recent an acquaintance. His relief turned to bemusement, however, when the earl nodded to Archie, a small sphinx-like smile tracing his lips. Horatio felt as if something had transpired right before his eyes, that some confidence had been revealed before it was tucked away once more. It was most unnerving.

Horatio continued to puzzle this mystery over the of lamb cutlets and young asparagus and well into the roast duck, though he made every effort to take part in the increasingly lively and wide ranging discussion. Archie, who was very much at his ease in this environment, had little difficulty keeping up the conversation. Indeed, he seemed to sparkle as he gave free rein to his considerable, if occasionally questionable wit. The earl, as he had already witnessed had a keen wit of his own, more refined and perhaps even sharper than Archie's. At present they thrust and parried deftly, playing with words like a pair of boys with wooden swords, their goal to amuse and challenge one another but not to wound. Having felt the rough side of Archie's tongue a time or two, Horatio could only imagine the resulting cannon fire should Archie and Edrington decide to cease their play and battle in earnest. It did not bear contemplating.

"Mr. Hornblower, you have been quiet. I hope you are not overtired from the long journey?"

Edrington's expression was solicitous and Archie gazed at him as well, his brow creased with concern.

"Not at all, My Lord," Horatio assured him. "I was merely enjoying the interplay."

"I hope that we did not bore you."

Horatio shook his head. "Quite the contrary. I am a poor interlocutor myself, but I admire those who have the wit for clever conversation. It can be most entertaining to watch such a lively exchange when carried out by those who do."

Edrington flashed him a small smile. "Most graciously spoken, Mr. Hornblower."

Horatio nodded at the compliment and was pleased to note that Archie's cheeks were stained a fetching shade of pink, whether from drink, the spirited conversation or Horatio's compliment, he did not know. Archie took a sip of wine then cast a brazen look at Horatio from beneath lowered lashes that made Horatio shift in his chair, his breeches suddenly tight. Horatio drank deeply from his own goblet to hide his embarrassment.

The footmen cleared the table and returned with a magnificent trifle which they served in ample portions to each of the men, along with a fine, sweet Madeira.

Edrington swirled his wine about his goblet. It glowed like rubies in the candlelight. He sipped carefully, then returned his attention to Horatio. "So, Mr. Hornblower, have you considered how you would like to spend your time here at Stanwick Hall?"

Horatio, who had paused to take a sip of his own wine did not have a chance to speak before Archie chimed in. "Actually, Horatio mentioned to me that he wanted to learn to ride."

It was only with a supreme effort that Horatio kept from choking on a mouth of wine. He glared at Archie who smiled sweetly at him in return, thoroughly unperturbed by Horatio's annoyance. Horatio tamped down sharply on the emotion, however, not wishing to trouble their host, but the look he shot in Archie's direction promised swift retribution.

He turned to look at Horatio with frank surprise. "Really, Mr. Hornblower? That is a most admirable goal, sir. Every gentleman worth his salt should ride. I am happy to put my stables at your disposal. In fact, I would be delighted to offer you some personal instruction, if you are willing."

"Thank you, My Lord. It is most kind of you to offer," Horatio replied in a slightly strained voice. Archie made little effort to hide his amusement at Horatio's predicament. He gave Archie a sickly smile and swore privately that before the sun rose again he would wring an apology from that pretty, perfidious mouth. Oh yes, Archie would pay dearly for this!

Horatio took another sip of wine. "I also hope to have the opportunity to explore your excellent library."

"You are most kind to say that. It is a somewhat meager repository, I'm afraid; the Edringtons have never been of a scholarly inclination. The family tastes have always run a bit more towards hunting and other sport. Still, I have tried to expand the collection whenever an opportunity presents itself."

He leaned in towards Horatio, his manner suggesting a confidence was about to be shared. Horatio leaned closer as well. "To be truthful, the library has become something of a refuge. With a dowager mother and two sisters under the same roof, I find that there is at times a surfeit of feminine enthusiasm. It is most gratifying to have a place to which I may retire unmolested."

Horatio nodded, the words confirming his own suspicions. "You are most fortunate in that, My Lord."

"Yes, yes, I am."

Horatio scraped the last bit of trifle from his plate and savored its sweetness. He was rather amazed that he had managed to consume as much as he had, but then after months on sea rations fresh food, especially fresh food well prepared, was a great treat. He looked over at Archie just in time to see him squelch a small burp behind his napkin. His eyes sparkled as he dabbed delicately at his mouth, then let the linen napkin flutter to the table.

"Gentlemen, I suggest that we retire to the drawing room for a touch of port, if you are so inclined?"

Archie cast a quick glance at Horatio who nodded in response. "That's a most excellent suggestion, My Lord."

They rose from the table and followed Edrington into a room on the other side of the foyer. It was far grander than the library and less inviting as well; Horatio could see why the latter had become his preferred retreat. Still, it was most impressive. Paintings in elaborate gilded frames hung from damask covered walls juxtaposed with pieces of marble statuary that were placed at tasteful intervals around the room. A pianoforte and a harp took up one corner of the room and casually arranged groupings of chairs and chaises were placed here and there to allow for conversation.

"Do you play, My Lord?" Archie asked with a faint gesture towards the instruments.

"Quite often, Mr. Kennedy," Edrington replied. "But nothing musical," he added cryptically, the corners of his mouth lifting into a flickering smile." Horatio frowned at the curious response but moved farther into the room.

The ever-efficient Howard had set out a tray upon which rested glasses and several decanters of cut crystal. The earl walked over and studied the contents of each. "Mr. Kennedy, what is you pleasure? Brandy, port, claret?"

"A brandy, My Lord, thank you." He accepted his drink with a nod then drifted off to admire a nearby painting.

"Mr. Hornblower?"

"A bit of port would be very nice, thank you."

Edrington poured the drink and a measure of brandy for himself and walked over to where Horatio stood puzzling over an odd piece of furniture. It was a chaise of sorts, but it had three curving sloped backs that intersected in the center. Clearly it was designed to seat three but the resulting arrangement would have been most intimate indeed. Idly, Horatio traced the top of a cushion covered in pale blue watered silk with one hand.

"I see you have noted this rather unusual piece of furniture, Mr. Hornblower," the earl remarked as he handed Horatio his drink. Edrington took a sip of his brandy and smiled demurely across the rim of the glass, his dark eyes reflecting a hint of amusement. "The French call it an indiscrète. A curious name, wouldn't you say? But then the French are a most curious people. I suppose they consider a party of three to be more licentious than just two alone." Edrington let his hand trail along the cushion and for just a moment his fingers ghosted across Horatio's and then the touch was gone almost as if it had never existed.

Horatio blinked, bemused, uncertain whether or not he had imagined the caress before common sense reasserted itself and he castigated himself for a fool. The earl was watching him, that same hint of wry amusement evident in his eyes and Horatio felt himself flush at his own wayward thoughts.

"Are you interested in art, Mr. Hornblower?"

"Art, My Lord?" Horatio asked, confused by the sudden change in topic.

"Yes. Paintings, sculptures and the like?"

"I confess I know very little on the subject, My Lord, but I enjoy looking at beautiful things as much as any man."

Edrington's smile widened with a flash of even, white teeth. "I see we are of the same mind in that regard. Beauty should always be admired and enjoyed to the fullest, whatever its form," he said, his eyes suddenly intense.

Horatio nodded then took a sip of his port. He had the strangest sensation that they were holding two separate conversations. Once more he felt out of his depth and he fervently wished that Archie were standing at his side, rather than across the room.

"I have something that might interest you, Mr. Hornblower," Edrington gestured for Horatio to follow which he did after only a moment's hesitation. He stopped a few feet away and gestured to one of the paintings hanging near the door. "As a sailing man, I thought perhaps you might find this painting of interest."

Horatio moved closer to gain a better look. It was a painting of a shipwreck, depicted in the most dramatic means at the artist's disposal. The sky was painted in bold shades of purple and orange, a single bolt of lightning illuminating the scene in the distance while the waves roiled and swirled in a muted shades of blue and green. The ship in question had been hulled on the jagged rocks, water rushing in through a gaping hole as it listed heavily to the side, the single mast hovering at a forty-five degree angle from the shoreline. Several figures clung to the fighting top while others, those who had been rescued, watched nervously from the shore.

"It is most remarkable, My Lord," he murmured. He had witnessed shipwrecks before; indeed, it had only been a matter of months since he, Archie and a handful of shipmates had effected a similar rescue off the coast of Spain. The painting, though lovely, bore little resemblance to the reality, which was far less picturesque but infinitely more terrifying.

Edrington had come to stand behind Horatio while he studied the painting. Horatio was suddenly keenly aware of the other man's proximity. He swallowed but did not turn. "Who is the artist?"

"His name is Vernet. A Frenchman," Edrington said, his tone vaguely dismissive. "There is a pendant, hanging there, on the other side of the door."

Horatio looked in the direction indicated. This painting was quite placid in contrast, showing a ship resting at anchor near the coast on a moonlit night, the water as still as a mirror. Horatio thought he rather preferred it to the overwrought shipwreck.

"These reflect my father's taste, rather than my own. He purchased them in Rome as a young man when he was making the tour. He was always quite fond of them." Edrington's voice trailed off, his tone and expression thoughtful, before he returned to himself.

"Mr. Kennedy," he called out to their other companion, "you might find this painting of interest."

Archie walked over to the earl's side, his expression one of open curiosity. Horatio trailed behind them. The painting Edrington indicated was small -- barely more than a sketch, really - showing a bust length study of a pretty young woman with soft brown eyes and a wealth of brown hair swept about her upturned face as if by the wind. Archie titled his head, his brow knit in consideration as he studied the painting. Suddenly his expression cleared and he turned to the earl, his eyes wide with surprise.

"This isn't…?"

Edrington chuckled. "It is. None other than Lady Emma Hamilton herself."

That name caught Horatio's attention. "Lady Hamilton?! You mean this is…" his voice came to a halt as his eyes slid back to the painting once more.

"Admiral Nelson's mistress, yes. Of course, this was painted some years ago, back when she was still Miss Emma Hart and not yet married to Sir William."

Horatio and Archie stood staring at the painting of the doe-eyed young woman who had married the British envoy to Naples and subsequently won the heart of the Hero of the Nile. The married Hero of the Nile

"How did you come by this, My Lord?" Archie asked, fascination evident in his voice and expression.

"I purchased it from Charles Greville. She was his mistress for a time, but he was very foolish with his money and amassed considerable debts and was obliged to sell some few of his belongings. I confess, I could not resist acquiring it."

"It's quite lovely, My Lord," Archie said his voice laced with genuine appreciation.

"I was told that it was done as a study for a much larger painting of Prospero and Miranda that Mr. Romney painted for Mr. Boydell's Shakespearean gallery."

Archie turned to look at the earl, his expression suddenly eager. "Really?"

Edrington nodded, that small smile of his in place once more. "Indeed. Are you an admirer of Shakespeare, Mr. Kennedy?"

Horatio could not help but chuckle. "I believe that it would be fair to say that the Bard has no more ardent admirer than Mr. Kennedy."

Edrington's expression turned inscrutable, but something flashed in his dark eyes before it vanished once again. "Well, Mr. Kennedy, there is something else we share in common. I have in my collection a folio of the etchings that Mr. Boydell published of his gallery. It's a rather curious enterprise and I dare say, it will prove his financial ruin. Still, the etchings are quite lovely. I would be happy to excavate them and show them to you. That is, if you are interested?"

"Oh yes! I would like that very much! Thank you, My Lord!" he answered, breathlessly. Archie's eyes fairly glowed with excitement and his smile of genuine pleasure seemed to light the room. Although Horatio did not entirely share Archie's passion for Shakespeare, he was more than willing to accommodate it. As was the Earl of Edrington, it would seem.

Edrington continued to play the gracious host, pointing out a few other works of art that he thought especially fine or at the very least vaguely amusing: a lovely statuette of Psyche, her wings carved with such finesse that the marble seemed almost translucent; a painting of a white poodle by Mr. Stubbs with a mischievous gleam in its eye; a view of Rome by Panini…or was it Canaletto? Horatio made the appropriate noises of appreciation, but in truth, he was growing increasingly restless. He looked over at Archie across the earl's back to see the same impatience writ on his face.

"A bit more port, Mr. Hornblower?" Edrington asked gesturing towards his now empty glass.

"No, thank you, My Lord."

"Mr. Kennedy? Would you care for more brandy?"

"No, Thank you…" Archie began then stopped as he yawned suddenly. He raised his hand in an attempt to smother it, but to no avail. "My Lord, I do apologize. . ."

"Nonsense, Mr. Kennedy," Edrington replied. "I should have realized that you and Mr. Hornblower might be tired after your long journey. I apologize for keeping you from your beds."

Archie gave the earl his most charming smile. "You are most kind, My Lord. I have enjoyed myself immensely, but I confess that I do long for my bed."

"Of course."

When the earl turned to put his own empty snifter on a nearby table, Archie shot Horatio a fervent gaze that sent a spike of heat directly to Horatio's groin. Archie might be keen to be abed, but clearly it was not for the purpose of slumber. Horatio found himself in complete accordance with that sentiment.

"I shall bid you gentlemen goodnight then."

"Goodnight, My Lord," Horatio and Archie replied as one. They took their leave and mounted the staircase side by side in silence. At the top of the stairs, they walked to their separate rooms and paused at their respective doors.

"Goodnight, Archie."

"Goodnight, Horatio," Archie said, punctuating his words with a highly theatrical yawn. "See you tomorrow."

He vanished into his room, leaving Horatio to shake his head in fond exasperation before he too, retired to his own chamber. He made short work of his ablutions, shedding his uniform with atypical haste. He donned his nightshirt and slid beneath the covers with a sigh. One of the servants had slid a bed warmer beneath the blankets and the sheets were wonderfully warm against his bare legs. The day had been pleasant enough, but the nights remained chilly and Horatio was grateful for the courtesy. He blew out the candle on his bedside table and settled in to wait for the anticipated nocturnal visit.

He did not have long to wait. Horatio was lying on his side, staring at the bands of silvery moonlight stretching across the carpet at the foot of the bed, when he heard the soft sound of the door opening and saw a puddle of warm light appear, then vanish a moment later. A shadow fell across the moonlit floor then drifted nearer. When it paused beside the bed. Horatio surged up, clenched his fists in soft linen and fell backwards, tumbling both himself and his would-be molester to the bed. Horatio rolled over quickly and after a brief tussle managed to pin his assailant firmly to the bed. Archie wriggled playfully in his grasp, grinding against him as if by accident before he stilled at last.

"Hello, Horatio," he whispered, breathless from both his exertions and anticipation.

"And what, pray tell, are you doing here, Mr. Kennedy?" he asked his face and voice stern.

Archie frowned, clearly surprised by the question, but then his expression cleared as he caught on to Horatio's game and surrendered to his whim. "Why Mr. Hornblower, I am here at your request. You did, after all, demand satisfaction. I would have been most remiss if I had not complied at the first available opportunity."

Archie smiled up at him, the very embodiment of sweet seduction. For a moment, Horatio hesitated, but then he reminded himself of his earlier promise, or more accurately, his earlier promises, plural. He would indeed have his satisfaction and he would make Archie pay most handsomely in the process.

"You seem quite alert for someone who was claiming exhaustion, not very long ago."

"I never claimed to be exhausted, Horatio. If you recall, I said I was keen for my bed. It is not my fault if others misinterpreted my words."

Horatio gazed significantly about him. "And yet, this does not appear to be your bedroom. Have you taken to nocturnal perambulations, then?"

Archie's expression was utterly guileless. "Not at all. It is merely that after so long at sea I find that my sense of direction on land is not as sure as it should be."

"A likely excuse."

"Or perhaps," Archie continued with a flashing grin, "I have grown so accustomed to your bony elbows and your dreadful snoring that I have become incapable of sleeping peacefully without them."

He gave Archie a warning look. "If it was your intent to soften my heart, I dare say you are doing a rather poor job of it, Mr. Kennedy."

Archie gave a huff of frustration and Horatio smiled to himself. Although Archie normally delighted at such verbal sparring, he was less patient when it interfered with his intimate plans.

"Oh come now, Horatio. Surely you're not going to be difficult, especially when I come bearing the olive branch." Archie's expression remained innocent, but he bucked upward, his hard prick grinding against Horatio's thigh in emphasis, giving his words another, far lewder meaning.

Horatio could not entirely suppress his grin. "That is indeed a fine. . .olive branch you are bearing there, Mr. Kennedy, but I find that I am not appeased. You have a good deal to answer for, sir."

"Such as?"

"Such as?" he asked with only partially feigned incredulity. "Has your memory become as errant as the rest of your person, or have you already forgotten the incident for which you promised satisfaction this very afternoon?"

Horatio pressed his hips down with a sudden, swift movement that made Archie gasp. But before Archie could rise up to gain further contact, Horatio pulled away. Archie frowned.

"No, I do recall that encounter quite well. If you would let me, I would happily make amends…" Archie said, his eyes and voice soft and alluring. He raised his head, obviously intent upon a kiss, but Horatio leaned back and turned his head to the side.

"If that were your only offense, I would happily accommodate you, but alas, that is only the smallest part of my complaint."

Archie sighed expansively, clearly frustrated with Horatio's continued resistance. "And what are my other offenses, pray tell?"

"They are far too numerous to recount, but let us limit ourselves to your provocations and lewd behavior in the presence of our host. . ."

"I'm sure he never even noticed. . ."

"That does not expunge the transgression, sir," Horatio warned. "And then there is the matter of your decision to tell the earl of my burning desire to learn to ride a horse."

Archie gave a brief, bewildered laugh. "Surely you're not angry about that, Horatio?" He looked up at Horatio, alarm overtaking amusement. "Horatio, don't be silly. This is a wonderful opportunity to practice riding. The earl has a fine stable and he's even agreed to teach you. I'm sure he's a most competent horseman. It would be foolish not to take advantage."

"I did not say that it wasn't."

"Then why are you being so difficult about it?"

Horatio leaned in and pressed his lips close to Archie's ear. "I am being difficult because you overstepped yourself. You should not have committed me so blithely, sir."

He pulled back and looked down at Archie who appeared genuinely contrite. "You're right, Horatio. I'm sorry. It will never happen again."

"Promise?"

"Promise," Archie said with an earnest bob of his head. He raised his hips to thrust teasingly against Horatio's own, both an invitation and a reminder of unfinished business. Horatio, however, was not quite finished.

"Very well, then," Horatio said as he released Archie and rolled off of his supine body. Horatio gave a huge yawn, then fluffed his pillow with considerable force before lying down again. "Goodnight, Archie."

Archie's expression shifted from confusion to disappointment to outrage in a matter of seconds. "Goodnight?" he hissed.

"Yes," Horatio said, his brow furrowed. "It's been a long day and I'm really quite knocked-up. I'll see you in the morning, all right?" He curled up on his side and closed his eyes.

Apparently, Archie did not find the proposal to be all right at all. With a low growling sound, Archie rolled on top of Horatio and proceeded to kiss him soundly. His hands tangled deeply in Horatio's hair and pulled him more deeply into the searing kiss.

Archie finally released him and stared boldly down at Horatio. He was a lovely sight with his flushed cheeks and pretty pout. Archie's eyes had darkened and they shone like lapis in the watery moonlight, the hunger unmistakable even in the relative darkness of the room.

Horatio chuckled and watched Archie's eyes narrow as realization set in.

"You're a bastard, Horatio," Archie growled.

"So you've told me on numerous occasions," he replied with a smile before his expression grew stern. "Now then, if memory serves, I believe there is still the matter of satisfaction that you promised to provide. I believe I would like to collect on that promise.

Archie's face lit with a feral grin. "Nothing would please me more, sir," he replied before he took Horatio's mouth in another furious kiss.

Those were the last words either man spoke that night.

Notes: This is a bedroom farce, long on smut and short on plot. Beware of innuendo, double entendres, single entendres, falling clichés and rising libidos. Oh, and non-Admiralty approved applications of naval tactics. No animals were harmed in the writing of this story, though certain parties may be walking funny for a while. Many thanks to the lovely Janis Cortese for her beta work